While taking a much needed respite I turned to my old friend MTV for some humor and entertainment, and as always, my old friend did not disappoint. In fact, MTV may have reached a crescendo of humor recently with its Model Mission '99/Fashionably Loud special. I had missed the first "World Premier" showing, but it did not matter as you shall see.
Last year's Model Mission '98 (aptly named) marked the networks first-ever (and much-needed) model search. The lucky winner (the plucky Crystal McKinney) was awarded a $250,000 contract from the modeling agency IMG and a bevy of other prizes. Since last year's installment was a premier, it was something of a no-frills affair (to whatever extent MTV is capable of conducting a no-frills affair.) This can not be said of this year's installment, which remarkably coincides with MTV's "House of Style's" ten-year anniversary. That, and the fact that Model Mission '99 has a predecessor (and a previous winner), which practically begs a "True Life" documentary of the past year of McKinney's life as a model. All of which spells comedy in a big way.
As always with MTV, it's a fine line between sarcasm and stupidity, and it's hard to tell at times whether MTV is in on the joke, or is actually a joke itself. No matter. The Model Mission '99/Fashionably Loud special, its corresponding documentary, and the "House of Style" special are hilarious regardless. Where else can you find Cindy Crawford, Daisy Fuentes and the suddenly ubiquitous Rebecca Romijn-Stamos making fun of each other's outfits (as if they picked them out themselves) and "subtly" trying to one-up one another. . . with Cindy being the far least subtle of the lot? Where else can you travel to such hot spots as Nashville, Phoenix, New York and Kansas City to find your pick of the model wannabe litter?
And where else can you hear a model (McKinney) utter such brilliance as "Jesus, Mom, everything's in Korean ? of course we're in Chinatown1x" with the most wonderful "duh1x" tone of voice, as though this is so obvious. Or where else can you watch Enrique Iglesias and Filter cavort wildly with sixteen-year-old model wannabes? (Don't answer that.) And above all else, where else can you hear the desperation in a young girl's voice when she is asked, "Why do you want to be a model?" and she answers with complete gravity and sincerity, "I truly believe that my purpose in life is to be a model." If you know of such a place, please don't ever tell me about it.
And yet, somehow MTV manages to pull all these things together, wrap them in a package, put a bow on top, and send it on to viewers like me as a gift. That's what I see it as. A wonderful, humor-filled (albeit painfully thin) gift for the weary shopper in all of us. And if you missed it, not to worry, because MTV repeats every one of its so-called "specials" to the point where even the casual television viewer will soon be able to recite every word and mimic every fake smile and pleasantry delivered by Romijn-Stamos. And if you still missed it, log on to